Intentional Living

For several years, people told me how high functioning I am for someone who has ADHD. I didn't see it. I knew that I enjoyed keeping busy, but I didn't really see it as an accomplishment or something I could help others with. Then my son was diagnosed with ADHD, and I felt very ill-equipped to help him. That was 4 years ago. Since then, I have learned so much, and really so much in the past year! I often told him how ADHD could be his superpower if he would learn to use it to his advantage, but until recently I still didn't believe it for myself.

A couple months ago I pivoted in my business to serve postpartum moms, feeling like that's where I was being called, and where I would continue to serve for the foreseeable future. I struggled so hard when I became a new mom, and having my second child in August 2021, it was a good refresher in just how hard those first few months can be, which made me even more confident in my choice to serve new moms. I was so sure about my choice, that when I saw a friend was taking classes to become a postpartum doula, the lightbulb went on and I quickly enrolled as well.

I started sharing content for new moms immediately, and enjoyed doing so. About the same time though...

You may have thought, but I don't know how to follow my intuition. I don't even know what my intuition is telling me. Friend, I've got you! I had the same problem for years. People would talk about following your gut, but I didn't have a clue what that meant. My gut constantly betrayed me by sending alarm signals (aka anxiety) when I was faced with any decent sized decision. Even when I wasn't faced with a decision, I felt anxious that something bad was going to happen, that the bottom would fall out. In case you are wondering, that can be a result of trauma in your past. It was for me. And it really made decision making difficult, for years. Eventually though, I started to figure out what it meant to tune in to my intuition, and I want to share that with you so you don't have to stay stuck where I was.

First though, let's talk about why you'd even want to. According to heysigmund.com a significant study showed that the intuitive part of your brain actually knows the right choice before the analytical part of your brain does. So basically your intuitive brain takes in subtle cues from all around you to determine which choice makes the most sense for you. This can be so incredibly helpful if you can tune in to your intuition and use it to your advantage when taking on life's big decisions. But how do you do that?

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." As children we are taught that this is the way to treat people. But what if there's something better that we can do? Something that will truly honor each person's individuality and meet them exactly where they are? What if following The Golden Rule is actually hurting other people, albeit without our knowledge or intention?

I was recently on a call with my mentor where she was sharing about different personalities and how to speak to each one. She briefly mentioned that we often treat people the way we would like to be treated, but should really be focused on how they would like to be treated. And then it just clicked.

How often have you been in a disagreement with a family member or friend, and you two just can't seem to work it out? How often have you asked someone for a favor, tried to persuade someone to do something, or tried to influence your children, only to have things go totally sideways? The problem isn't them. And it isn't you either. So, what is the problem then?

My heart was racing, face was flushed, the feelings of shame washed over me again. I raced from my desk to the bathroom, glad that it was just around the corner and that I didn't run into anyone on my way. My eyes were filled with tears as I collapsed on the bathroom floor, trying to stifle my cries so no one could hear me.

This used to be a daily occurrence for me. I thought life would always be like that too. And that made living almost unbearable at times. Especially in the midst of my panic attacks. It made no sense, considering I had a beautiful son, loving husband, and a pretty good job. But then, anxiety rarely makes sense.

One day...

When I met Megan, I had no idea how integral she would be to healing my body image, brain fog, and anxiety. Body image was something I'd dealt with since I was 14. The first time I felt shame about my body size, I was in gym class. We had to weigh ourselves for the class, and share our weight with the class. I was one of the three shortest girls in my class. Two of them had tiny body frames and were dancers. I was by no means overweight at the time, but I also wasn't as small as them. I came in at just over 105 lbs, while they were both in the low 90's. I could hear their giggles despite them trying to stifle their laughter. To make matters worse, they were both popular while I was awkward and insecure.

I carried that insecurity for years. You'd think that after carrying a baby, I'd recognize how amazing my body was to grow a human from next to nothing, and nourish that human for an extra 3.5 years after birth. But despite knowing in my brain how strong that made me, my heart wasn't ready to listen. Then Megan started to speak life over me, and things started to change.