"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." As children we are taught that this is the way to treat people. But what if there's something better that we can do? Something that will truly honor each person's individuality and meet them exactly where they are? What if following The Golden Rule is actually hurting other people, albeit without our knowledge or intention?
I was recently on a call with my mentor where she was sharing about different personalities and how to speak to each one. She briefly mentioned that we often treat people the way we would like to be treated, but should really be focused on how they would like to be treated. And then it just clicked.
How often have you been in a disagreement with a family member or friend, and you two just can't seem to work it out? How often have you asked someone for a favor, tried to persuade someone to do something, or tried to influence your children, only to have things go totally sideways? The problem isn't them. And it isn't you either. The problem is the way we, as humans, communicate with each other.
The Golden Rule goes on the assumption that we are all the same, and therefore we all desire to be treated the same. But humans are not all created the same. Equal yes, but not the same. Instead we all have different personality traits, different likes, dislikes, wants, needs, strengths, and weaknesses. So, it stands to reason that we each desire to be treated in a way that honors that individuality.
I won't go deep into detail but there are four basic different personality types. This has been a proven fact for years. Within those personalities are slightly different intricacies based on where we fall in our non-primary personality traits. If you want to know more about these personalities, or to find yours, you can go here to do a really simple and quick personality test.
So the next time you start to respond or react from your own personality, stop for a second and think. Ask yourself, does this person have a similar personality to mine, or is it possible they might need and desire a different flavor of response. You can use this personality test to help you figure out what things might be important to them (like for instance if they are action oriented, busyness is something they actually value).
If you are interested in digging in more to human relationships and how to make deeper connections, make sure you jump in to our Facebook community where we talk about the things that affect anxious working moms.
Until next time, xoxo.
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